Tripping the Prom Queen

Your friend got a new job -- are you happy or silently jealous? If the success of others makes you feel personally crummy, then Tripping the Prom Queen: The Truth About Women and Rivalry, by sociologist and gender specialist Susan Barash Shapiro needs to be read as quickly as possible. Susan, the author of nine books, teaches "A Gendered Culture" in special programs at Sarah Lawrence College. Seen recently on the Today Show, Fox News and several other shows as the specialist on why women stay (think Silda Spitzer), a recent interview with Susan was thought provoking. Tripping the Prom Queen "dissects the myths and delusion of female friendships," and included incisive analysis on how everyday female interactions can be wrought with aggression and hostility.

After interviewing 500 women across the United States, Susan discovered some are born happy and honest, others are cranky connivers. Female rivalry seems to be running wild and few women can admit it. Worse in the corporate world then previously thought, some forty and fifty year old women admitted to sabotaging younger colleagues who threatened them professionally. Women are worse than men when it comes to hindering a "friend's" growth. Trained from an early age to compete with other girls, some women take it to a higher, or actually lower level when competition, envy and jealousy become the norm. As women move through daily activities hoping to achieve success or even lose weight, an assumption all friends are behind them along the way is often perceived to be true. Unfortunately, according to Susan, fiends can ruin one's plans in a jealous attempt to stop another's success and "trip" the prom queen.

A quick read, Tripping suggests ways women can get along by creating realistic definitions of friendship, cherishing friends' differences, allowing one's self to experience competitiveness, envy and jealousy, keeping the lines of communication open, and getting one's own life. Excellent advice from a real authority that can benefit not only women but men as well. Tripping needs to stop, and learning how will keep all feet and legs in line.

Photo attribution: Susan Barash Shapiro