Fanny Packs: Bad Idea

Men have briefcases and most recently "man bags," and women have totes and purses. There is no need for anyone, at anytime to don a fanny pack to carry whatever they deem is small enough to stuff into the fanny pack, but not big enough to require a purse or bag. Fanny packs rest on the most unattractive part of one's body, bringing unwanted attention to a large protruding object resting on what probably already is a large protruding object. Fanny packs create a two-for-one special, and in this case, a one-for-one is far too much.

One might guess an encounter with a fanny pack bearing person has sparked this post and one is correct. In addition to standing up after a large group dinner and donning the fanny pack, the fanny pack person was wearing a gold lame sweater, tucked into brown knit elastic topped pants. The look got my attention, but what caused one's eyes to open wide and food to almost lodge in one's throat was the addition of what appeared to be a belt at where the natural waist should have been, had there been a waist at all. The addition of the fanny pack caused the wearer to lean forward, thrusting the fanny out even more, and creating an even larger shelf on which to rest the most unattractive pack possible.

Fanny packs are acceptable when hiking deep in the woods where only elk and bear will see one's attire. Any where else they are inappropriate unless in a body cast, or recovering from surgery of both arms. Disney World and Disney Land are not even acceptable applications of the fanny pack, but are far better choices then work events in Chicagoland.

So there you have it -- intense criticism of fanny packs. If you have one, do not donate it, burn it. Nothing says old, out of date and out of touch more then a fanny pack, except mom jeans, and that is yet another topic for another day.
Photo attribution: somewhatfrank