Lingering and Waiting

A chill hovers over Chicagoland, though the sky is clear, with only a few high clouds. At 5 degrees, the air outside is stiff and hard to breathe, forcing one to move quickly, lingering only to move from the car to other warm quarters. The dead of winter lingers, yet the hope of spring is visible by looking upward toward the heavens at the bright blue sunny sky.

Val continues to linger, wishing she could move on, afraid to stay longer. Pharmaceuticals have diminished the pain so at the worst it is tolerable, and at the best, absent. In and out during the day, she eats nothing, sucking ice chips or an occasional straw in lemon water. Cognitively she is here, talking of previous joys, and wondering when the end will finally come. Emotionally she is rock solid, joking about the circumstances and wondering when "the bus will come" to pick her up. In November she looked happy and healthy, attending a lecture by Chicago's caterers and book authors, The Hearty Boys.

Friendship is many things -- being together for over 20 years, we have laughed, mourned, birthdayed, galaed, dieted, whispered, cried and sat quietly together. I've learned so much from Val over the years, and now watching her rest, the lessons continue. Unbeknownst to her, Val continues to lead and continues to love as she teaches all of us how to die with dignity, a peaceful heart, and a loving husband. And while a chill hovers over Chicagoland, there is only warmth and love as we sit and wait for the bus.

Photo attribution: somewhatfortyplus

We All Have An Expiration Date

Eggs, milk, meat and cheese all have an expiration date. So do we. I sit and watch my best friend sleep, knowing her time here is short. She has stage four cancer, and it is winning this round, though there has been a massive fight. Cancer is evil, and though some will say it can be handled as a chronic condition, they are the lucky ones. My friend is not -- her cancer will over take her soon and send her home. Watching a robust woman suffer from cancer is painful. Too painful at times.

After moving into a new house five years ago, this special friend decided one day to weed one of the flower gardens with me, as it was bothering her that people would drive past my house and see weeds. She would not have such a thing. So with gloves, hats and sun screen in tow, she showed up and said "this is your house-warming gift, a couple hours of girl time making the garden presentable again." And we did. After four or five hours of weed pulling, the garden was beautiful, but the two of us were a mess: dirty, sweaty, stinky and very thirsty. She was correct -- the garden looked better and the following spring, summer and fall, it blossomed with gorgeous bulbs and perennials constantly showing their beauty. The garden was named after my friend, and each time I refer to it, I call it by her name, V's Garden. A sign needs to be placed there, reminding us each time we view the beauty of the garden, it was put in order by V, who will continue to look after it forever.

Photo attribution: somewhatfortyplus

Expiration Dates

Everything seems to have a "use by" date printed somewhere on it, suggesting the product will self destruct if it remains "active" after the printed date. Does this really happen? I think not. Yesterday five inches of milk remained in a gallon marked with "purchase by 12/23/08." Since no big milk drinkers reside here, milk remains longer then suggested dates. As an experiment, just to see if it was still good to go, it was tasted. There was nothing wrong with it. There were no curdles, off-flavors, or anything suggesting it was out of date. Nevertheless, it was poured down the drain. So what's the real deal with "use by" dates?

According to Consumer Reports, the "use by" date is the last date the product is likely to be at peek flavor. If the product is marked "sell by," on the other hand, that indicates the last day the product may be safely sold to the public. According to CR, You should be able to use milk, say, for up to about seven days after the sell-by date.

Still with me? The real throw out date is the "expiration date" that suggests you throw out the food on or before the expiration date if it is still in your hands. The exception is eggs, which are still safe to eat for three to five WEEKS after the marked egg expiration date. Yikes. Eggs don't really expire for 3 to 5 weeks after they are marked with a date? A lot of eggs have met their maker as a result of the marked date on the end of the carton.

Do we have similar markings somewhere on our bodies, suggesting we will self-destruct by a certain date if we are not "used?" And if we do, where is the mark? Do we really want to know this date? And what does self destruct mean, in regards to "use by" body dates? These are all interesting contemplations as milk and eggs are removed from this stainless steel refrigerator and meet the bottom of the garbage can in the garage.

Photo attribution: somewhat frank

Baptism Day

New grand babies bring previous baby joy full circle as one's baby becomes a father and dotes on his own beautiful child. Baby Beverly Margaret's Baptism was filled with family and friends, a massive brunch and Mimosas for all. Watching one's children dote on the new addition was a wonderful way to experience the cycle of life. Frank and Jessica couldn't put Beverly down and enjoyed the quiet moments of contemplation their brother and sister-in-law, Taryn, had provided for them.

What a beautiful baby!

Photo attribution: traveling gal

Happy New Year

Each year is filled with changes, and 2008 had several big ones, including the marriage of a son, a large family vacation, several TECH events, a new filly, major home renovations and the birth of a grand child. Becoming a parent is an experience unlike any other, and becoming a grand parent is as close as one can get to the real thing. Newborns have a unique look, unique sound, and unique baby smell that brings smiles to every face.

2008 was a good year, filled with surprises, and 2009 will bring even more changes and surprises. Memo to self: be sure to keep weight down so as to fit into any formal outfit at any time. Have nails manicured and hair cut and styled at all times in case of a sudden party. Use credit cards only for travel so as always ready to fly to the next adventure. Continue to make soup as it fills with few calories. Keep riding the bike, enjoying the sky, watching the horses, and smelling the coffee. Use sun screen. Spend more time in Chicago at lunch with Jessica. Visit DC at least twice during the year. Hug the baby often. Appreciate and give thanks for what I have. And smile at all life has to offer. Enjoy the ride.

Photo attribution: somewhatfortyplus